The Compliance Mash!

Ah, Halloween. The one day of the year where we celebrate non-compliance by masked, under-age workers.

And as our long-time readers know — and if you are not, you know who you are and need to hang your head in shame — it also marks the anniversary of our annual Halloween compliance parody articles. So, in honor of these two momentous occasions (you decide which one is more momentous), we thought we would provide a few fun facts about the world’s most famous Halloween song:

“The Monster Mash,” which is the most-played Halloween song of all time, was recorded in 1962 by Bobby “Boris” Pickett. The entire recording session took less than an hour. Since the song still generates over $1 million per year in royalties, this has to be one of the most productive hours in music history.

The BBC banned the song because it was “too morbid,” meaning the song was not played on British radio for nearly a decade after its release. It did not become a hit in the United Kingdom until 1973, when it was allowed as a re-release.

One of the backing singers on the “Monster Mash” was Darlene Love, who later not only became a Grammy-winning singer but also had a recurring role as Roger Murtaugh’s wife in the “Lethal Weapon” film series.

Early in their careers, the Beach Boys played backup on “The Monster Mash” while touring live with Pickett. They loved the song so much that they often played it later at their own concerts and included it on their 1964 live album, “Beach Boys Concert.” They sometimes changed the words around a bit, such as when they wanted to emphasize a compliance message, including when they sang . . .

“The Compliance Mash!”

I was working on a project, late one night,
When my eyes beheld in the fluorescent light.
A compliance monster, began to rise,
And suddenly, to my surprise.

He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash)!
The Compliance Mash! (It was an office smash!)
He did the Mash! (His compliance was so brash!)
He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)

From my cubicle walls, I saw him arise,
A compliance monster with wide, sleepy eyes.
He grabbed the forms, and the policies too,
Checking all the boxes, like a compliance guru!

He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)
He did the Mash! (He finished his training in a flash!)
He did the Mash! (He ate our compliance break food stash!)
He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)

The lawyer ghouls woke from their power naps,
Stretched their bones, adjusted their fee caps.
They shuffled in, all ready to review,
Policies, audits, and procedures too!

They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a charge-by-the-hour smash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a legal clash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a fee-grab dash!)

The scene was shocking, we were digging the sounds,
Of compliance rocking, no compliance workarounds.
The whistleblowers were about to arrive,
With their vocal group, The Qui Tam Five.

They played the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
They played the Mash! (They grabbed documents for their flash drive cache!)
They played the Mash! (They settled for a lot of cash!)
They played the Mash! The Compliance Mash!

Out from his coffin, an auditor’s voice did ring,
Seems the auditors were concerned about just one thing.
He opened the lid and shook his fist,
And said, “Whatever happened to my Auditor Twist?”

It’s now the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
It’s now the Mash! (He audited receipts, for petty cash!)
It’s now the Mash! (His audits are not slap dash!)
It’s now the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)

The auditors joined, they were quite impressed,
The way the monster handled the compliance test.
He filed every report, with perfect grace,
Not a single infraction, could they trace!

They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
The Compliance Mash! (Avoiding fines in a flash!)
They did the Mash! (No loopholes left to slash!)
They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)

Now compliance is easy, no need to dread,
Just follow the monster’s lead to stay ahead!
So when compliance rules bind, don’t call them balderdash,
Wake your inner beast for the Compliance Mash!

We do the Mash! The Compliance Mash!
We do the Mash! It’s an audit smash!
We do the Mash! We never act too rash!
We do the Mash! The Compliance Mash!

Looking for more articles on the lighter side of compliance? Try out There Must Be Fifty Ways to Leave Your Agent, The Grinch Who Stole Compliance, and Peter Rabbit Discovers Compliance! And if you would like to sign up for our biweekly series on “What Every Multinational Should Know About” various international trade and regulatory issues, .